Do you think she spends as much time shaving her privates as he does? Food for thought.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
My Favorite Songs: Death/Dying
I pretty much hate 99% of the music that comes out these days. It just doesn't do anything for me. I'm not moved or inspired--I'm just bored by it. Here are two of my favorite songs about death and dying, both from the 1970s. They're both fairly simple, but there's so much emotion packed into them. Enjoy...
"The Great Gig in the Sky" Pink Floyd, The Dark Side of the Moon, 1973
"Song for Guy" Elton John, A Single Man, 1978
"The Great Gig in the Sky" Pink Floyd, The Dark Side of the Moon, 1973
"Song for Guy" Elton John, A Single Man, 1978
ME
This is Kevin. He is 5'6", 130-135 lbs and enjoys running, swimming, eating, sleeping, and on occasion, dressing up as Kylie.
I started seriously dressing in late 2007 and by seriously dressing I mean actually having my own clothes, makeup, wigs, etc and the know-how to apply it all and go out for an evening as Kylie. I didn't want to rely on others for clothes or makeup so I found a few truly awesome people to teach me makeup techniques and help me shop. It took a while, but I eventually got the hang of the basics. I'm still learning and it's been nothing short of fantastic.
Me applying Ben Nye concealer.
My softer side has always been there. I've always been an introvert and somewhat sensitive. I always played it safe--I enjoyed routine. I wanted everything to be predictable and according to the world I lived in, it was. I loved cuddling and taking care of my stuffed animals--I made sure to hug and kiss them every night before bed. While I was pretty shy and didn't stray far from my parents or the predictable, I loved to create my own worlds, be it with Legos, crayons and paper, or just my imagination while lying in bed at night. Somehow, somewhere along the line it all took a turn for the kinky. Now I've always been a bit kinky (I remember fancying certain objects and having weird sexual dreams as a kid), but it took a few years for these "special interests" to develop into full blown fetishes. By the time I was 13 I knew what turned me on. Wearing my sister's cheerleading outfits was near the top of the list.
How'd this happen to me? My childhood had mostly been about school, friends, family, and summer vacations...or so I thought. It had been mostly innocent and, in my opinion, quite wonderful. Why then should my mind start obsessing over all of this bizarre sexual stuff when only a few years prior, I had been obsessed with more normal boy things like toy trucks and playing cops and robbers? There was a lot of guilt--while the other guys in my class were busy staring at boobs and butts, I was busy staring at myself in the mirror wearing my sister's heels. Why couldn't I just be normal? My other fetishes only heightened my guilt. Where had they come from? Was this payback for something I did? Bad karma?? Nooo!!!!! I wanted answers, but answers are not something you get when you don't know how, what, where or who to ask.
When I look back and think about who I am and who I was, I believe there was a real subconscious desire to express this more creative and feminine side. I was finally forced to acknowledge this other side, an almost totally new person. It wanted to be sexual and it wanted to wrap itself around the boy I knew myself to be. It wanted to experience the world. It hit me by surprise. It wasn't familiar and yet it was. Totally unpredictable.
These days I know enough to not be scared by it and I openly admit to you that I'm a cross-dresser. It's just a label and there's a lot more to me than wearing women's clothes for a few hours every now and then, no matter how exciting it may be. When I started buying my own make-up and clothes back in 2007 I told myself I wouldn't keep my dressing a secret. I wouldn't keep it bottled up and I wouldn't ignore it. There had to be something I could learn from it, either about myself or, at the very least, about what some women go through every morning just to feel presentable. I also told myself that I'd go out in public as Kylie and not keep it hidden behind closed doors.
I wanted to tell people. I wanted strangers to see and to know--I had nothing to lose. In some ways I wanted to throw it in their faces and see their reaction, but at the same time I was looking for accepting friends, which is exactly what I found in my co-workers at the time. Every co-worker I confided in was very supportive and everyone I met in public while dressed was more than friendly. People are more impressed with your courage to be yourself than with the fact that it's expressed through women's clothes. That's a really important point that's best learned by sharing your story with others. People can judge and I'm sure they do, but at this stage in my life I'm used to being considered a little abnormal. Besides, despite whatever arguments they may bring to the table, I know they don't hold up to the simple truth that it's my life and my choice.
My femme side pops up all the time. Sometimes it just appears as shaved legs and sometimes it comes out to play in the full form of Kylie. Mostly, it's somewhere inbetween. You might be thinking I have multiple personalities, but I assure you it's only one personality--me. I don't try to disguise my voice and I rarely go by Kylie--I prefer Kevin. I love being a male and I have no plans to change that. Yes, I'm a little more feminine that your average guy, but I wouldn't have it any other way. It's full of creative and sexual energy and for the first time I feel very human in my own skin.
I started seriously dressing in late 2007 and by seriously dressing I mean actually having my own clothes, makeup, wigs, etc and the know-how to apply it all and go out for an evening as Kylie. I didn't want to rely on others for clothes or makeup so I found a few truly awesome people to teach me makeup techniques and help me shop. It took a while, but I eventually got the hang of the basics. I'm still learning and it's been nothing short of fantastic.
Me applying Ben Nye concealer.
My softer side has always been there. I've always been an introvert and somewhat sensitive. I always played it safe--I enjoyed routine. I wanted everything to be predictable and according to the world I lived in, it was. I loved cuddling and taking care of my stuffed animals--I made sure to hug and kiss them every night before bed. While I was pretty shy and didn't stray far from my parents or the predictable, I loved to create my own worlds, be it with Legos, crayons and paper, or just my imagination while lying in bed at night. Somehow, somewhere along the line it all took a turn for the kinky. Now I've always been a bit kinky (I remember fancying certain objects and having weird sexual dreams as a kid), but it took a few years for these "special interests" to develop into full blown fetishes. By the time I was 13 I knew what turned me on. Wearing my sister's cheerleading outfits was near the top of the list.
How'd this happen to me? My childhood had mostly been about school, friends, family, and summer vacations...or so I thought. It had been mostly innocent and, in my opinion, quite wonderful. Why then should my mind start obsessing over all of this bizarre sexual stuff when only a few years prior, I had been obsessed with more normal boy things like toy trucks and playing cops and robbers? There was a lot of guilt--while the other guys in my class were busy staring at boobs and butts, I was busy staring at myself in the mirror wearing my sister's heels. Why couldn't I just be normal? My other fetishes only heightened my guilt. Where had they come from? Was this payback for something I did? Bad karma?? Nooo!!!!! I wanted answers, but answers are not something you get when you don't know how, what, where or who to ask.
When I look back and think about who I am and who I was, I believe there was a real subconscious desire to express this more creative and feminine side. I was finally forced to acknowledge this other side, an almost totally new person. It wanted to be sexual and it wanted to wrap itself around the boy I knew myself to be. It wanted to experience the world. It hit me by surprise. It wasn't familiar and yet it was. Totally unpredictable.
These days I know enough to not be scared by it and I openly admit to you that I'm a cross-dresser. It's just a label and there's a lot more to me than wearing women's clothes for a few hours every now and then, no matter how exciting it may be. When I started buying my own make-up and clothes back in 2007 I told myself I wouldn't keep my dressing a secret. I wouldn't keep it bottled up and I wouldn't ignore it. There had to be something I could learn from it, either about myself or, at the very least, about what some women go through every morning just to feel presentable. I also told myself that I'd go out in public as Kylie and not keep it hidden behind closed doors.
I wanted to tell people. I wanted strangers to see and to know--I had nothing to lose. In some ways I wanted to throw it in their faces and see their reaction, but at the same time I was looking for accepting friends, which is exactly what I found in my co-workers at the time. Every co-worker I confided in was very supportive and everyone I met in public while dressed was more than friendly. People are more impressed with your courage to be yourself than with the fact that it's expressed through women's clothes. That's a really important point that's best learned by sharing your story with others. People can judge and I'm sure they do, but at this stage in my life I'm used to being considered a little abnormal. Besides, despite whatever arguments they may bring to the table, I know they don't hold up to the simple truth that it's my life and my choice.
My femme side pops up all the time. Sometimes it just appears as shaved legs and sometimes it comes out to play in the full form of Kylie. Mostly, it's somewhere inbetween. You might be thinking I have multiple personalities, but I assure you it's only one personality--me. I don't try to disguise my voice and I rarely go by Kylie--I prefer Kevin. I love being a male and I have no plans to change that. Yes, I'm a little more feminine that your average guy, but I wouldn't have it any other way. It's full of creative and sexual energy and for the first time I feel very human in my own skin.
Happy New Year (no exclamation point!)
So 2009 is over and blah blah blah. I hope you didn't make any resolutions because we both know 99% of you won't do a damn thing to follow them. We go through this every year. Happy new year.
Feast your eyes on this New Year's treat.
Feast your eyes on this New Year's treat.
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